A Fantastic Initiative
A month has now elapsed since Listening 2004: My Family My Church was
launched to the national press and feedback from families has started
to arrive in the dioceses. After months of planning, of debating and
agonising over the right words, the right questions, the right design
for the one million Listening 2004 brochures, these days have been the
moments of truth. Did we get it right? Have we managed to speak to
families in words they will want to respond to? Have we created a
sufficiently good impression of our intention to listen?
So far the response seems to be positive, thank God. The impression I get from talking to people, never before involved in the project, is that it's nice to be asked, for a change. It's good to have the focus very firmly on ‘ordinary’ domestic lives for once. At the planning meetings I have attended within dioceses, the energy and excitement (and relief even) of those gathered, who generally feel isolated in supporting marriage and family life, is tangible. There's a great sense of no longer being alone - and not just within the diocese but also across the countries of England and Wales. We really are all in this together.
Emails I have received from people in parishes give pretty much the same impression; they seem happy to devote the time and energy it takes to foster the conversations we have envisaged because they sense that this is important. As a lady from Northampton diocese wrote:
“I have volunteered to be the Parish co-ordinator for Listening 2004 My Family My Church in my church. We have successfully launched the programme at both Sunday masses. I have already gathered a team of six helpers and am currently planning the first of several meetings to discuss the questionnaires. I want to do this properly because I think it is a fantastic initiative.”
Another lady from the Birmingham Archdiocese wrote:
“It all sounds very exciting and thank you very much”
So what have families been saying? What are the early signs of things to come? As you would expect there is much variety, but one clear challenge to family life at home is connected with questions of relationship, community and togetherness:
“I am alone, a widow, no children, no sisters or brothers.” (Southwark)
“Our son has recently deserted his family. We support them as much as we can and we pray.” (Liverpool)
“Limited contact with other practicing Catholic families locally. Cope by travelling.” (Wrexham)
That this really is a serious matter is emphasised by the universal appreciation of the community element of family life as a significant highpoint and joy:
“The blessing is I have two cousins who care and help.” (Southwark)
“Just seeing the children and grandchildren who all live away. Thank God for the telephone.” (Liverpool)
“The people in it! High-points are the births, baptism etc. It makes giving of oneself fun.” (Wrexham)
“Being with our children. They are the blessings.” (Liverpool)
“Quality time together; lots of good friends; healthy, beautiful children & a lovely home; nice neighbours; a supportive family; a good church.” (Leeds)
“Being together, supporting each other.” (Menevia)
Clearly there is much to be grateful for but an immediate concern arises for the “one-person families” in our midst. One lady from East Anglia wrote to me at length:
“The Catholic Church needs to wake up and do more for single Catholics, both young and old. It needs to do more to help single (or widowed) Catholics to meet single (or widowed) Catholics. The Church also needs to recognise that single people exist and do not want to be treated as second class Catholics. In my parish it is usually family groups who are invited to do the offertory procession. I haven’t been asked to do this at Sunday Mass since my 21st birthday in 1971.”
And where families don’t keep regular contact with their older members there is great pain and loneliness:
“I have a big family, six children and 15 grandchildren. I’m a widow. It’s lonely very often – the family are busy. I have God in my life otherwise I could not cope.” (East Anglia)
So there is no room for complacency, but yet room enough for each one of us to ask what we can do to make the difference we and others long to see. That we now have an opportunity to air and share these concerns offers some hope for the future. Although most of us live busy lives (one person from Liverpool wrote, “I wish we could have more hours in every day”) it also seems as if there is still sufficient good will for informal one-to-one support to thrive. A respondent, from Leeds, who also identified lack of time as a challenge, wrote of a desire for the “opportunity to give back and help others throughout the whole community”.
Listening 2004 is already proving to be a stimulating and rewarding initiative. It is already becoming what it set out to be – a focus for building relationships and raising awareness of family strengths, difficulties and hopes. Please God this will continue and more families will take part, so that we, the Catholic community of England and Wales, can fully appreciate what life really is like for all the families we cherish, and so that we can discover what we can all do together, with God’s help, to build a stronger future for us all.
You can take part in Listening 2004 at a parish near you. Ask your local diocesan coordinator for details.
Elizabeth Davies, Marriage & Family Life Officer
The Clifton Diocese Organsier for Listening 2004 is Deacon John Proctor.
Tel: 07802 631968
Email: alabarehouse@fsmail.net
Useful URL : http://www.listening2004.org.uk
So far the response seems to be positive, thank God. The impression I get from talking to people, never before involved in the project, is that it's nice to be asked, for a change. It's good to have the focus very firmly on ‘ordinary’ domestic lives for once. At the planning meetings I have attended within dioceses, the energy and excitement (and relief even) of those gathered, who generally feel isolated in supporting marriage and family life, is tangible. There's a great sense of no longer being alone - and not just within the diocese but also across the countries of England and Wales. We really are all in this together.
Emails I have received from people in parishes give pretty much the same impression; they seem happy to devote the time and energy it takes to foster the conversations we have envisaged because they sense that this is important. As a lady from Northampton diocese wrote:
“I have volunteered to be the Parish co-ordinator for Listening 2004 My Family My Church in my church. We have successfully launched the programme at both Sunday masses. I have already gathered a team of six helpers and am currently planning the first of several meetings to discuss the questionnaires. I want to do this properly because I think it is a fantastic initiative.”
Another lady from the Birmingham Archdiocese wrote:
“It all sounds very exciting and thank you very much”
So what have families been saying? What are the early signs of things to come? As you would expect there is much variety, but one clear challenge to family life at home is connected with questions of relationship, community and togetherness:
“I am alone, a widow, no children, no sisters or brothers.” (Southwark)
“Our son has recently deserted his family. We support them as much as we can and we pray.” (Liverpool)
“Limited contact with other practicing Catholic families locally. Cope by travelling.” (Wrexham)
That this really is a serious matter is emphasised by the universal appreciation of the community element of family life as a significant highpoint and joy:
“The blessing is I have two cousins who care and help.” (Southwark)
“Just seeing the children and grandchildren who all live away. Thank God for the telephone.” (Liverpool)
“The people in it! High-points are the births, baptism etc. It makes giving of oneself fun.” (Wrexham)
“Being with our children. They are the blessings.” (Liverpool)
“Quality time together; lots of good friends; healthy, beautiful children & a lovely home; nice neighbours; a supportive family; a good church.” (Leeds)
“Being together, supporting each other.” (Menevia)
Clearly there is much to be grateful for but an immediate concern arises for the “one-person families” in our midst. One lady from East Anglia wrote to me at length:
“The Catholic Church needs to wake up and do more for single Catholics, both young and old. It needs to do more to help single (or widowed) Catholics to meet single (or widowed) Catholics. The Church also needs to recognise that single people exist and do not want to be treated as second class Catholics. In my parish it is usually family groups who are invited to do the offertory procession. I haven’t been asked to do this at Sunday Mass since my 21st birthday in 1971.”
And where families don’t keep regular contact with their older members there is great pain and loneliness:
“I have a big family, six children and 15 grandchildren. I’m a widow. It’s lonely very often – the family are busy. I have God in my life otherwise I could not cope.” (East Anglia)
So there is no room for complacency, but yet room enough for each one of us to ask what we can do to make the difference we and others long to see. That we now have an opportunity to air and share these concerns offers some hope for the future. Although most of us live busy lives (one person from Liverpool wrote, “I wish we could have more hours in every day”) it also seems as if there is still sufficient good will for informal one-to-one support to thrive. A respondent, from Leeds, who also identified lack of time as a challenge, wrote of a desire for the “opportunity to give back and help others throughout the whole community”.
Listening 2004 is already proving to be a stimulating and rewarding initiative. It is already becoming what it set out to be – a focus for building relationships and raising awareness of family strengths, difficulties and hopes. Please God this will continue and more families will take part, so that we, the Catholic community of England and Wales, can fully appreciate what life really is like for all the families we cherish, and so that we can discover what we can all do together, with God’s help, to build a stronger future for us all.
You can take part in Listening 2004 at a parish near you. Ask your local diocesan coordinator for details.
Elizabeth Davies, Marriage & Family Life Officer
The Clifton Diocese Organsier for Listening 2004 is Deacon John Proctor.
Tel: 07802 631968
Email: alabarehouse@fsmail.net
Useful URL : http://www.listening2004.org.uk
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